tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-245699122024-03-07T20:35:22.707-07:00Observations From The ThroneMental tidbits from the off-beat psyche of an unapologetic paranoid sugar addict and aspiring adult. Pull up a chair and prepare to feel superior, for I am flawed in the most horrifying ways and not afraid to out myself (or anyone else) on any subject. So folks, keep your hands inside the ride at all times, and as for you big damned sissies, suck it up! NO BLUBBERING ALLOWED IN RUBY'S CRIB!Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09267618805411452475noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-9092022144430005632009-12-22T23:15:00.003-07:002009-12-22T23:24:43.771-07:00Harpy Holly DaysAfter having endured another holiday season of moronic tv commercials, fake joker-grinning jewelry counter bitches, and the constant whine of cheery xmas muzak, Mr. Bunny did himself in the O' Tannenbaum way. Mr. Bunny is one harrrrrrrd Mother Fucker right? Hell yeah. Hard. I like that in a rodent. Harpy Holly Days Yallfarts and flowers, PamelaRuby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-36413256546574829832009-08-04T04:14:00.002-06:002009-08-04T23:05:16.148-06:00Me, The Mayor, and My Lady GoodiesI was at the grocers today and there was a sale on my favorite All Natural Organic Free Range Chicken Breasts. I stocked up on a few. Make that several. Okay about 8 packages, dammit. It'll take us a year to eat them all, so hey, sue me, they were on SALE! I have an irrational fear of running out of things and often find myself stockpiling food and other items that I find in the Bargain DisplaysRuby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1143882132524763222009-08-01T23:30:00.000-06:002009-08-06T09:25:15.182-06:00Silent But Deadly: The Dark Side of FartsThis little poem is for my dear mate. He has the manners of a gentleman during the day but is a drooling, farting, blanket hogging bully at night.This poem doesn't really do justice to the Fart Symphony that is played out in our room each night. I huff what little oxygen I can glean through my nightgown while reading or watching TV. What is he doing while I'm trying to not suffocate on my own Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-39724012374590018792009-07-31T16:45:00.001-06:002009-07-31T18:07:03.316-06:00MARRIAGE: THE ZOMBIE YEARSQuotes:"Keeping a secret from my wife is like trying to smuggle daylight past a rooster." Anonymous"We split up over religious differences--she worshipped money...and I didn't have any."Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09267618805411452475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-82124168446504333852009-07-04T23:59:00.002-06:002009-07-31T17:36:00.979-06:00CRACKERS IN THE HOODYes, it's the fourth of July, and while it's a perfectly fine holiday and should be a day for everyone to put petty bickering aside and remember all the things that are great about being American, I'm not feeling so generous right about now. My neighbors, the hillbillies currently plummeting the property value on our street, are on thin ice with me. For the last 8 days, from about 3:00 to 4:00 Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09267618805411452475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-60086987749159230042009-07-01T07:01:00.007-06:002009-08-06T09:44:59.725-06:00PRODIGAL BLOGGERS: WE'RE BACK!Well hello all, it's been a long damned time hasn't it?We've been side-tracked by major medical setbacks and other shit too crazy to go into, but we're still alive, back in the blogging saddle, and raring to go. Thanks for all the great emails and support during our hiatus. For those of you who asked specific questions, Pamela has no more cancer and is back to her old self mentally, and will be Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09267618805411452475noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1150341428358901462008-06-14T21:11:00.006-06:002009-07-31T17:55:05.898-06:00WALKING ON THE SUN WITH RUBYCAUTION: THIS POST IS FILLED WITH OBSCENE LANGUAGE AND THINGS THAT WILL HANG IN YOUR MIND AND FILL YOUR DREAMS WITH DREADFUL IMAGES. BEWARE. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.Hey you bastards, It's me, Ruby. I'll be posting something soon that's relevant to the whole question and answer thing. Right now, I've had a few shots of Rot-Gut and a handful of Schlitz Malt Liquor's and I need to let fly. I live in Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1149412304668878002008-03-04T03:11:00.002-07:002009-07-31T17:38:14.336-06:00KITTIES AND PISS SHEEN; We advise a sexy scientistVeronica writes: Yea, I like flipping off. And not only people, but inanimate objects as well. Like when I am at work, boiling samples down, sometimes they start to look like piss or motor oil. Then they get down to their proper volume, and they smell like piss and tar. I like flipping those friggers off. And what about the clients that send them to us. What in the hell is this shit and where didRuby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1149297366084292202007-11-02T19:15:00.002-06:002009-07-31T06:48:55.223-06:00Dear Ruby: Advice for the Lost & Hopeless: 2cd EditionHello Ruby Groupies:I'm back to dispense some advice to those lost souls that seek my wisdom. I am, after all, me; and that is a stupendous accomplishment considering all the prissy bitches & bastards who would gladly see me thrown from my lofty perch of pretention and self-absorption.Today's advice is in answer to one of you sappy pains-in-the-ass who was whining about how hard it is for herRuby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1147212367402552302007-05-09T16:04:00.005-06:002009-07-31T17:54:12.085-06:00VOGUEING WITH RUBY Don't be a hater, it takes effort to lookthis good. If you have any questions, about beauty products and such, feel freeto leave them here. I'm available for beauty consultations 2 days a week.That is all.Ruby has spoken. Now go away.Pamela (C) 2007***RUBY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS POST. BLOGGER MESSED UP AND ATTRIBUTED SEVERAL POSTS TO PAMELA THAT WERE INDEED RUBY'S. IF RUBY SIGNS THEM, THEY'RE Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1146960025571185242007-05-06T17:57:00.002-06:002009-07-31T06:09:41.209-06:00Is Ignorance Truly Blissful? My Mother would reply: "Yes, ignorance is bliss." God, that's so like her. Artist JN (C)2005Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1146808604251271922007-05-04T23:54:00.002-06:002009-07-31T07:13:09.711-06:00The Old Angel vs. Devil QuandaryI'm leaning more towards the Devil. I mean really, he's always got good tequila, fried chicken and dirty jokes. The Angel, well let's just say I'm not into knitting clatches right now. Yup, I've decided, I'll be using my awe inspiring talents for evil. Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1146264505461838182007-04-28T16:37:00.002-06:002009-07-31T06:51:30.492-06:00Road Rage and RV Whores: A True Tale Of MadnessI had the unlucky experience of being followed by you this morning. You Motoring-Psycho-Bitch! You hounded me from the inside of your vehicle the entire time I was driving my child to school this morning. You were behind me for almost the entire 1 mile we were on the road. Or, the equivalent of 3 hours in HELL thanks to your insane shenanigans!--First you were ticked off because I drove the speedRuby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1145319096505193512007-04-17T17:57:00.001-06:002009-07-31T06:54:52.390-06:00Nickleodean & The FCC: One Woman's NightmareWARNING: The following message is rated "V" for vulgar, "F" for excessive use of foul language, and "H" because according to fundamental Christians--a.k.a. The Nazi's-- I'm going straight to Hell. As such, you may wish to shoo your children from the room and wear your Rosaries while reading what follows.~The next paragraph is a REAL e-mail sent to me by a good friend~>Pamela:I just wanted to tellRuby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1143769124434956172007-03-30T18:32:00.001-06:002009-07-31T06:33:51.403-06:00Death On A CrackerPamela (C) 2007BLACKLUNG RALPH: This guy is always just outside the grocery store door and I have to hold my breath for at least 4 minutes just to get through the cloud he produces. Ralph works at the store as well. Sometimes I'll just pass him in an aisle and can almost SEE the smoke still billowing off of him. He reeks like a million ashtrays and looks like death on a cracker. He's also got an Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1143521879267315752007-03-27T21:54:00.002-06:002009-07-31T17:22:12.228-06:00Hate In A Housecoat Yet another flattering portrayal of dear Mumsy.Pamela (C) 2007Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1143520788363193202007-03-27T21:38:00.000-06:002009-07-31T06:37:46.546-06:00A Good Quote:"I want to die like my grandfather died...peacefully in his sleep. Not like the other three people screaming in the car."Joey AdamsRuby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24569912.post-1143233571898095172007-03-24T13:52:00.000-06:002009-07-31T07:00:02.566-06:00"Ruby" , my alter-ego. She's taken too, so eat your hearts out boys! Pamela (C) 2007Ruby Blathergabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05290860084820583588noreply@blogger.com2