"Keeping a secret from my wife is like trying to smuggle daylight past a rooster."
Anonymous
"We split up over religious differences--she worshipped money...and I didn't have any."
B.J. COLE
"If women knew what we were thinking, they'd never stop slapping us."
LARRY MILLER
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
PHYLLIS DILLER
"My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she writes in her diary."
DRAKE SATHER
"No woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes."
Anonymous
and my all time favorite:
"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
WOODY ALLEN (I know I know, Woods is a total pedi-filodough-douche-bag, but this quote rocks.)
RUBY--currently residing in Marital Purgatory--HAS SPOKEN.
Now fuck off. Rubes needs to get her drink on and you're buggin.
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